Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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