So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
