I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
