i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
