Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
