Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
