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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That baby is bound to be under-loved.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..

  (614): View more from Ohio

  ya and it worked didnt it??

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.

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• (661): View more from California

  Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw

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• (845): View more from New York

  I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"

  (682): View more from Texas

  God please dont post that to facebook.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.

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• (631): View more from New York

  Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus

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• (310): View more from California

  You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals

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