Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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