I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
