glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
