I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
