Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
