new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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