so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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