She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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