The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
