I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
