Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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