Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
