Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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