I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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