i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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