Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
