The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
