Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
