I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
