Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The ass gains better be worth it
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