It's a beautiful day for a hangover
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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