During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
