just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
