Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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