We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
