my soul wont recognize me after tonight
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
