i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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