oh god the rape fog is back!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
