so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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