Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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