Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
