The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
