your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
