I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I can't turn off my feet"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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