remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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