u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
