I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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