i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I could fuck to npr.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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