so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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