everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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