After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
