Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
