I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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