Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
